How do you define life? The state of living or being alive? A happy home, a family, a few kids, a dog.. and a cat? Or accomplishing your dreams? Or.. How about being financially wealthy? Or working hard enough to live off your retirement pension? What about finding your true love? Your SOULMATE. Finding the One. Is that what life is all about?
Life is a misconception.
You, my dear, are a living vessel of flesh and bone. Some believe you have a soul that’ll stay with you until the afterlife. Some believe in reincarnation. Some also believe we were created in the image of God and this body we are in, is only temporary.
Well, whatever you believe.. Theories and Facts aside, You Know what it is.. The answer lies in your heart and/or mind. Life is whatever you want it to be. Deal with It. Happiness.. What is happiness to you?–would be the real question.
* * *
I wish I had unfaltering ambition to follow my dreams. Sadly, I’m the type to admire the dreams of others whilst loosely hanging onto my own.
It’s not so much my fault, ignorance is the one defining character trait on my dads’ side of the family..
Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t point fingers. My manager once told me, “Maybe it’s about time you take full responsibility for your actions instead of blaming it on someone else.”
Naturally that statement really pissed me off later on.
But it’s still true.
Nobody is going to guide you through life and hold your hand like when you were a kid crossing the street. People, parents, friends, only serve as guides.
So what if.. You’re not sure about this “life” in general? What if–you’re not sure about your own dreams?
What if the sign you’ve been waiting for never comes? What if you misinterpret your existence?
I used to hate people that went the extra mile. You know the ones that had good grades and everyone used to say, “Now that guy/girl really knows where they’re going in life.” God knows, I REALLY hated their guts.
***
Then I met a few people who knew with a passion that they wanted to sing.. or be a musician.. Or a comedian for that matter.
To this day, I admirably watch as distant acquaintances work so hard to pursue their dreams.
And I can’t help but feel strangely humbled–yet envious at the same time.
Perhaps I should take initiative of my own. But what if I’m afraid?
What if I choose the wrong one? What if I don’t have the discipline to follow through?
I probably have a complex or something.
(Peterpan?)
* * *
I met this lady at the train station once, I was at a happy period in life, everything seemed to be going right. To which, I confessed to her, (after she asked) that I wanted to be famous.
She told me, “Even if you don’t become famous. You can be famous in your own little world or society.(neighborhood, etc.)” . . My first thought was, “No, I KNOW I‘m GOING somewhere.”
I just shrugged and told her, “I guess.”
Time has passed from that brief “conversational insight,” and I find it to be even more true than I thought.
* * *
What if you’re the type like me, that has opportunities placed at their lap, and throws it away because their afraid of being confined?
God knows, I’d rather be a slacker than work in a cubicle.
And why would I want to be a Supervisor? I hate having too much responsibility. I don’t even like my job.
Sometimes I intentionally set myself up for failure–because it requires less stress and work.
I’m really my own worst enemy.
* * *
So..
Are we the tormented geniuses with wasted potential? What happens to us?
Am I one of those destined to have life thrashed upon me (pregnancy, some catastrophic event, etc.), so I won’t have to choose?
What happens next if I’ve gotten so content with being the audience of life?
To be continued?
